Halloween

My coworker Cori gave me this delicious Lemon Flavored Halloween cookie this morning. Made me feel special. 

I tried to get our little group to all be super heros so we could be or own group of 'Avengers' , but that didn't work out and I didn't want to spend a lot of money on a costume... so I decided to go as a Zombie. (I have been watching the Walking Dead on Netflix).

It was a strange evening. Kenny was at the house packing things in the garage when I got home from work... he wanted to chat. It was strange to me that after all the ignored text messages now he wanted to chat? I had got some buffalo wings from Fry's and we shared them while I did what I needed to and got ready to go trick or treating.

My brother picked me up and introduced me to his new girlfriend Shannon and we drove out to Blair's house to trick or treat with them.

Brian, Me, Jacob, Little Brian and Shannon

Jacob and Little Brian 

Blair's pumpkin 

Blair's neighborhood is awesome for trick or treating because people are actually there and have great displays!

It was fun to be there for Hailey's first trick or treating experience. She cried at the first house.. poor thing. The night got better for her. Blair's older kids Matt and Hannah were at their dads so it was nice for Hailey to have some big kids to trick or treat with.

Hailey and Little Brian -SO cute

Hailey 

I didn't get a good picture of Mason, but he was an adorable biker dude! 

Jacob, Little Brian, Brian and Shannon

This level is too hard...

I didn't sleep good last night. Usually (before all this) when I would wake up from a fitful night of sleep I would breath a sign of relief that I was awake and bake to my real like not whatever my dreams had been... today when I woke up and thought about my new reality, I just wanted to go back to sleep (even to the nightmares). I wanted to text Kenny, but it was 4:25 AM, so I didn't. Instead I got on my workout clothes and begrudgingly went to Boot Camp.

It was freezing. During the warm up I thought to myself, I am going to quit ... this is my last class. I hate the cold and that is enough justification, besides the fact that I can't really justify the $69 per month it costs me...

Tracy, the instructor is so cute and always inspiring. She always has something interesting to say. She doesn't really like Halloween, but she did make the workout kind of special by putting different exercises inside fake eyeballs and then we had to pick one... ie 1 min of bicycle crunches, 2 laps around the park, suicides (I drew that funny because I just hate running), 3 mins butterfly arms etc.

After class she made sure to stop me and asked if I had purchased the book she recommended. Love must be tough by Dobson and she just wanted to give me a hug. Of course the waterworks started... She shared her story how 2 years ago her husband decided he wanted out of what she thought was their happy marriage too... We talked and talked and cried. Its nice to have a friend who KNOWS the pain. Funny how people are in your life right at the right time that you need them (or they need you in other situations)....

I was feeling pretty 'up' (well compared to how I woke up anyway) and when I got home one of the girls had left a HUGE, smelly, do do on my bedroom floor.... ugh I didn't want to put them out because it was so cold so I locked them in my room (they like to sleep in anyway!)... I think it was Shelby because she was looking pretty guilty, poor girl its not her fault!

Off to work... 

GREAT Friends

I have the GREATEST Friends, seriously the best. 

Jereme and Bev took me to lunch, just to be nice. 

This afternoon I called to find out about my home loan.... As self center as I have been thinking this last few days I didn't really realize that the STORMS in New York had forced the market closed... therefore my loan could not be locked in until they reopen... crazy. 

Blair asked me if I wanted to do dinner one night this week. She asked about Monday with her kids or Tuesday without, so I said Tuesday without so we could really talk.... I had NO idea what it would take for her to make that happen... she left her house at 4:15 and drove out to her parents house so they could watch her kids, then drove back out to El Mirage to pick me up at 6:15.... I would have just said no! That really meant a lot to me that she went to all that trouble for me. We went to Arrowhead so she could exchange Hailey's Mini Mouse Costume (SOOO Cute!), went to the Halloween store for last minute items and then ate at Chilli's . We talked and talked. I am sure I am not much fun to be around right now, but she was patient and kind, listened and gave me her thoughts. I am blessed to have such great friends. She bought my dinner and took me home. She picked up Allan from work and then went to get her kids.... 4 hours of driving to spend 2 hours with me (when I needed her).

Days like today make me feel like I can be on my 'own' (not really on my own I have so much support from friends and family)... I still don't want to and I still don't want to be divorced.

Quote

My boot camp instructor sent this out today...

"It's  not what's happening to you now or whathas happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about
what to focus on, what things mean to you, an what you're going to do about them that will 

determine your ultimate destiny."  

- Anthony Robins

The worst day of my life...

MONDAY: 

I am not being dramatic when I say today was one of the worst days of my life. When I woke up I knew it was going to be a bad day... A few hours into my morning I found out why.

He filed.

Not just that, but he wanted to serve me TODAY. I was just so shocked. Its so fast. At first we wanted to serve me at work in front of our boss Doug (because he was a notary), but I was able to convince him to wait until after work and I would meet him at the bank in front of a notary to receive the papers.

I felt like I was going to throw up all day.

After work I drove to the bank, walked in and found him waiting. I resolved that I would be strong, but when the notary ask for my ID I started to cry. I didn't say a word. I received the papers, signed for them (shaking) and left. I didn't look back, I didn't stop to chat I just had to get to my car... I sat and bawled. I saw him drive away.... eventually I did too.

I saw our Dodge Ram right up front as I passed the Ford dealership. I cried more. 

I had been texting my cousin, Kenny throughout the day and he told me the day he got served he went to the store and bought a gallon of lemonade and enjoyed it.... 

I decided to follow suit.

I bought a big pile of lemons. 

And made the best lemonade I have ever drank. My mom came over and had a glass with me. I joked that it was a little salty (from my tears)...

Perfect Lemonade

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup sugar (can reduce to 3/4 cup)
• 1 cup water (for the simple syrup)
• 1 cup lemon juice
• 3 to 4 cups cold water (to dilute)

METHOD

1 Make simple syrup by heating the sugar and water in a small saucepan until the sugar is dissolved completely.

2 While the sugar is dissolving, use a juicer to extract the juice from 4 to 6 lemons, enough for one cup of juice.

3 Add the juice and the sugar water to a pitcher. Add 3 to 4 cups of cold water, more or less to the desired strength. Refrigerate 30 to 40 minutes. If the lemonade is a little sweet for your taste, add a little more straight lemon juice to it.

Serve with ice, sliced lemons.

Yield: Serves 6.

I decided if this was real I mind as well get working on going through the house. At least he is being very gracious with all the 'stuff' he is letting me do it on my own time and letting me have whatever I want...
Its crazy we had enough stuff for two households and even a little more for a yardsale... too much stuff!

I hate today. 

Pumpkin Painting Party

It sort of sucks doing something without Kenny that we had planned on doing together... Today was the Pumpkin Painting Party at the Brush Bar. The only thing that sort of kept me interested in going was that Kenny probably wouldn't really have wanted to be there anyway... he would have just gone to appease me...

Anyway, I went with my friend Donna. She went through a divorce about 10 years ago that took a devastating tole on her. The great thing about Donna is she loves to laugh and always makes me laugh too. We had a nice afternoon together. 

Snack table

craft bar 

We were a little disappoint to learn there would be no instruction and we had to just make our pumpkins on our own...They came out pretty cute anyway!

Our pumpkins BEFORE

Donna's Eric Cartman (from South park) 

My finished pumpkin 

Growings...

Here are some pictures of my 'growings' from the week: 

Amaryllis bulb (I haven't even planted it yet!) 

tomato bush I started from a seed 

pumpkin! (Wednesday) 

My awesome cactus I planted with my dad this summer

flowers at the community garden 

My community garden plot! Its still alive! I haven't visited in about 2 weeks. The drip system needs attention ( I am sure Kenny would fix it up, but I am not going to ask him to).

some sprouts at the community garden (I believe these are cabbage sprouts) 

Looks like my pumpkin died 

The beautiful sweet potato flowers 

The sweet potato plants should be ready to harvest any time now! That should be exciting.

Bark Box

I bought a Groupon (shocking I know) for a Bark Box! It was $30 for a 3 month membership and each month you... well your dog (s) get a package in the mail! That sounded super fun so I bought one.

They are shipped out on the 15th of the month and it arrived at my house today. 

Hope and (dirty) Shelby checking out the box 

Toby took a peak (and Shelby jumped into my face) 

Hope and her new 'stache' 

Toby just LOVED the snake! Its made of wool and does not have any squeakers or stuffing in it, so it is much safer than most toys. It was SO cute to see him so excited and puppy like about a toy! Worth EVERY PENNY! Love these dogs!

Tempe Town Lake - Hydrobikes

Another Groupon adventure..... I had two groupons for the hydrobikes at Tempe Town Lake that expire 11/07.... I asked my adventurous buddy Becky if she wanted to go. I said she could have the Groupon if she drove out there... (on a budget here remember). She said it sounded fun so we made a date. 

We ate a big breakfast at a fun place called , Butterfield's (their pancakes were good, however Kenny's are still better!) , then we headed out to the lake.... little did we know it was ASU's homecoming football game!!  Traffic was insane! Once we got to the lake it was great because there were only about 5 other boats out on the lake with us!! 

We loved the view under the bridge. 

Ducks

It was SO beautiful out! The weather was just perfect, nice breeze and peddling the hydrobikes was effortless.... going with the current!

Becky

Me

Me... I just included this picture because I didn't think it even looked like me...

cool bird nests 

Those puffs are from some sort of cannons they kept shooting off at the game - LOUD

Hydrobike

It was a fun day. I really enjoy Becky. We both have the same thirst for life and she went through a divorce recently too... I feel like I say this everyday, but again I am so thankful for friends!!